Damaged
by XxShoutNeverEverxX
Summary: I picked the gun up and put it to my chest. "I love you Edward."Will Bella pull or will a certian Bronze-haired man stop her? *Suck at summarys but please give it a chance and Review!*


**Disclaimer:I own nothing**

The alarm rang as I shifted in my bed and sat up,wiping the crust out of my eyes.

I Sighed.

It's been 2 months,3 days,4 hours and 5 out from under the covers and dragged my sock covered feet to the shower.I got in and used regular shampoo for my hair and use Strawberry shampoo and bodywash?I have no one to look good or in this case smell good for after _he_ hasen't been the same.i'm by myslef once again only sad,heartbroken,lifeless.I met this boy, Black,my father's friends 's nice but he made me happy.I don't want to be happy.I was only happy wiht _him _and it only brings back i don't want to remeber for they bring to much pain.

I got out of the shower and went to my dresser to put on a whit long sleved t-shirt and grey skinny jeans.I slipped on some converse while putting my hair in amessy wet bun.

I sighed and sat down on my bed notcing I still had about two hours till school started.

How could I be like this.

So Lifeless.

So Dead.

No one deserved to have a daughter like this expecisally Charlie.

He was too kind and honarable for someone like me to call his dosen't deserve to see his only child like this.I touched my face and stared at my face in the bedroom mirror I just eyes were plain as always but they didn't hold the same spark they did when _he _was cheeks were sunken into my face and I had purple bags under my eyes.I looked like a vampire except not in-humanly fingers were bony and i was a size 0.I used to be a size 4,I weighed 98 lbs.

I was bulmic.

No one talked about _him_ or said _he's _name for they were all afraid I would break or sink further into deppresion. I hated being looked after as if I was breakable. As of 2 months ago I am.

I contemplated my thoughts and came to a conclusion,a desicion that would be most me.

I would die.

I would off myself.

I closed my eyes and thought about it.

Yes.

Perfect.

Charlie woulf be sad to loose his only daughter/child at the age of 18,but i can't go on like this.

It's not right.

I'm like a Zombie.

I barley talk and I'm deadly Pale.

I sighed.

I got up off my bed and opened the door to charlie's was out fishing with Billy seeing as he had a week off due to some rookies they woanted to put on the job.I looked towards his police belt and saw the pistol.I grabbed it and slide it out of it's pocket.I stared at it in awe.

This would take away all my problems.

All my pain.

This would let me be free.

I held it and quickly walked to my room closing my door and chalrlie's door behind me.I walked to my desk and set the gun down and grabbed papers and a pen.I sighed and began.

_Charlie,_

_I know when you find this letter i won't be in the most accaptable postion.I will be dead,Plain and before you go blaming this on_-I gulped-_Edward,It's not his had to leave,he made his choice as I am making mine.I love him Dad , wether or not he loves me _ _was my purpose for living therfore I want to die.I'm not happy here and I want to be set free.I'm making you suffer just by being here,moping around everyday kills me more to do so know.I love you. Your the best Father I could have ever asked took me in even though I ignored you for 3 years with only simple phone calls and emails.I'll miss 't do anything drastic._

_Your Daughter,_

_Bella_

I folded the paper and put it in an envolope that said Charlie in the front.I carried on.

_Edward and Family,_

_Oh,Oh Sweet were my World ,no you are my world, my reason for are my first and hopefully last after everything that happened after everything weve been threw.I still love you.I always have and always 't do anything Rash while I'm gone the Family I will Miss were Carlisle that He was like a second Father to I admire him for being Kind and Esme that I love was the mother I always will dear tell Rosalie that I will miss her and I love her though we never talked and you would send me death glares any time I walked your way, I still think and always will think of you as a your still the most beautiful women to walk the earth in my book,don't listen to .Emmett,Emmett, my big teddy made me smile and Blush at all sorts of stupid and crazy things.I love how you could turn the most serious situation and turn it into a big the brother I always .Dear Alice , Don't Cry or whatever Vampires do when there will always be my here and up there.I swear if they have a mall in heaven which they probably will due to your arrival you can take me on many shopping trips your little heart know, I had to do me.I can't stand the Pity looks people give me everytime I walk by or the way I dread every morning wanting to be in Edward's was my life. He always will be even in the after Alice promise me you won't let Edward do anything Rash or it's his God decides it's his time he'll come meet me in Heaven as you all will when it's your time to.I swear if I go up there I will fight and plead for you to come up here as you deserve to. Your my family and I love you as I do I love Charlie and I know we haven't talked much do to your control but I wanted to.I wanted to be a good sister to you as I would for Emmett,alice and Rosalie.I don't blame you.I don't blame you for what happened at my was an accident and I understand.I love you as a brother I never got to acutelly be close to.I think that's it.I got everyone.__ I love you boyfriend-My bestfriend and Beautiful sister that made boys drop to their knees.I love you all and I will see you ._

_Forever yours,_

_Bella-Swan-Cullen;_

I put the note in an envolope with 'The Cullen Family' written across the front and placed them beside each other on the desk. I picked up the gun and sat down in the middle of the bed and started to think about how I was going to do this.

Threw my brain from my mouth?

Threw my brain side to side?

Or my heart.

I thought about it for a couple more minutes and choose.

I rose the gun up to my chest and took a couple breaths in.

"I love you Edward."I sighed

Then Pulled the Trigger.

**The End:D**


End file.
